#in which case... nevermind
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thinking about posting a WIP and then remembering how tech companies want to steal every word from our fingertips to chew up and spit out again and trying to figure out why I feel differently about these words, the words you are reading right now which will inevitably be stolen versus some unserious fiction that will be read by like 15 people total anyway, and why it even matters but it does. to me it does matter.
#although tumblr being allergic to reblogging fic is the reason I stopped posting wips in general#maybe the only audience for my fic posted here is the web crawlers mashing everything up for profit#in which case... nevermind#had the brief thought that maybe I should make a new blog just for my fic#but this WAS that blog#I do miss the energy with wips#four years ago or so sharing them was so energizing#ah well#why can't I let the machines have my fiction#everyone else is apparently growing fine with it and it makes me want to start scratching with claws
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the way anakin could have been and was an excellent jedi but the majority of the time we don't see it because the best way to tell the narrative of a jedi knight's fall is to depict him falling
#personal#thinking many thoughts#like the jedi considered him one of the best#if a bit unorthodox#but unorthodoxy isn't enough to merit dislike—just look at qui gon jinn#they LIKED anakin. they TRUSTED him. he was family#and the majority of the time we see anakin he's in the midst of a war#which is literally the worst case scenario for ANY jedi#nevermind one who's being actively groomed by a SITH LORD#it's not that anakin had no choice because the dark side is always a choice but like#damn. the odds were really REALLY stacked against him#and when he finally caved and leapt off the precipice it's when everyone who anchored him was unavailable to speak to#the tragedy of anakin skywalker's almost..... ):
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no, actually my least favorite thing about watching thai dramas while speaking & understanding thai... is that the dialects never match up 😭😭😭 if a character is from a non-central province, they'll have their whole family speak in northern/southern/isaan dialect while the main character, who's played by an actor from bangkok, will unexplainably not have any remnants of his native dialect when he speaks even though he was born & raised in the area and often time never even left... that shit breaks the fourth wall to me, like... why even hire an actor who doesn't fit the role fully, I don't get it 😭
#axelle rants#i told sunset about you#to be continued#I'm too lazy to tag ALMOST EVERY SHOW THAT TAKES PLACE OUT OF BKK#I adore itsay but this is literally its only AND biggest flaw in my eyes bc why the fuck is teh only breaking into southern dialect -#- for shits & giggles when he was born in phuket and lived there his whole life like WUT#same for oh-aew the dude never speaks southern dialect at all it makes ZERO sense#but teh's mom tarn & SOME of the friends speak correctly... it's so jarring#there's only 3 types of shows that have avoided this#1) to me it's simply you where nadech's character speaks both isaan dialect & central dialect as a way to show us that his character is -#- ashamed of his roots & then gradually accepts them. it's well done imo#2) isaan shows with an entirely isaan cast & crew like siew sum noi and nah harn... which is why I love isaan shows sm#3) I believe 1000 stars did this well? unless earth's character is supposed to be northern which in that case nevermind#HOWEVER bkpp MADE itsay so I'm willing to forgive the fact that they can't speak southern dialect even though it takes me out of the show#axelle learns thai
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absolutely stupid that mental health affects physical health and vice versa. how tf are you supposed to figure out whats wrong with you like that
#tbf. im like 90% sure its my thyroid (? my schilddrüse. that bastard)#in theory thatd be easily treatable but! my doctor retires in two weeks and#i wont get an appointment before then nevermind a diagnosis+treatment#thank god there are *checks notes* zero doctors in the entire county who still take in new patients. yay!#but i could also be wrong and its just a manifestation of my brain being stupid#in which case thank god its *checks notes* even harder to find a therapist in the area#yeah i'll just. live with it then i guess
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disregard my whining from this morning, guess who snagged a job interview next week >:3333
#its for sheetz which applied to as a last ditch effort to get out of my current job and also get paid more#i dont exactly Want to work at a gas station but i feel like sheetz is a best case scenario of that outcome#at least they seem to value their workers. and im gonna go for overnight shifts which means !!!!! $17.50/hr!!!!!!!#i'll be back to the wage i was making at my old cushy office job which was absolutely enough to live on (for me at least)#my plan is to go here but still be on the job hunt for something better in the meantime. i just cannot do that at my current job#bc i also need to save up for a car and i can barely pay my bills nevermind save anything at all#working overnights will be miserable but at least i can BUILD MY SAVINGS AGAIN
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30° tomorrow time to resurrect my shorts and loafers era yahooo
#unless i dont do that in which case nevermind#outfit planning on the dash#and guys dying my hair pink is the best thing ive ever done things are so fun#seeing my friends im excited
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ok i rly like ranma 1/2 reboot so far its rly fun and interesting gay and gender stuff happening. however.


at the beginning they established that akane is 16 and her older sister kasumi is 19 and akane has a crush on her chiropractor dr. tofu, who has a crush on her sister kasumi. so im like ok they all must be similar in age

then in the newest episode in a flashback, dr tofu is still a doctor aka a grown man (?? if that is the case then he's old and there's a concerning age diff! he blushes at kasumi in this very flashback! also wait are chiropractors real doctors??) but more importantly, akane is a TODDLER while her sister appears to be a teenager still!!!
that shocked me so much i had to pause to do research on their ages to confirm im not crazy they did say they had only a 3 yr diff lol. still haven't finished the episode. kasumi is towering over akane at ages 5 and 8 i guess or maybe akane is a tiny 10-13 year old if kasumi is supposed to be 13-16
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WHY ARE YOU CONSULTING A SOCIAL SCIENTIST ON WHETHER ASTROLOGY COUNTS AS A SCIENCE. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER CONSULT ACTUAL ASTRONOMERS. BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE ANSWER THEY'LL GET THAT'S WHY!!!
#DOES PRECESSION OF THE EQUINOXES MEAN NOTHING TO YOU PEOPLE#THE SUN ISNT EVEN IN YOUR ''SUN SIGN'' IT MEANS NOTHING !!! ITS MEANINGLESS !!!#brot posts#astro posting#'i dont know if i feel comfortable calling astrology a science' BECAUSE IT ISNT#FLAT OUT. ITS NOT.#even ignoring the fact its blatantly falsified#just . the definition of science relying on observations.#hold on let me ltierally get my fucking science research methods textbook#SCIENCE MUST BE. 1. empirical 2. systematic 3. replicable 4. self-correcting#ASTROLOGY. IS NONE OF THOSE THINGS#1. its based entirely on anecdotes 2. again its based entirely on anecdotes theres no institution no system no research#3. BECAUSE its not systematic it sure as fuck cannot be replicable#and in fact it frequently ISNT. the accuracy of astrological predictions varies so wildly from person to person#4. self correcting? well there's no institution and no repeatability and so theres no future research to constantly fact check#prior assumptions and prior research#and also even on individual cases astrologers just double down and find a loophole to work around anything that falsifies their claims#which is literally the number one sign that something is pseudoscience and not science#if you cannot feasibly falsify something without there being ten million loopholes then its just an excuse machine its not real science.#so no. just from the sheer basic definition of science and scientific research. astrology is not science.#nevermind the fact its just. its just not fucking true. nothing it predicts is true#now the OBSERVATIONS behind astrology ie the actual observing of the night sky is a different conversation#but the ASTROLOGY of it - the predictions about human beings - is pseudoscience
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Weird that helaena didn't foresee this btw she has predicted nearly every tragedy that happens to the greens
#the people thinking this is bad bad and criston like umm... didnt they know we won.... NO DUMBASS#they got a bunch of not targaryens in charge and they dont know the lore.... dragons are power my guy#alicent noticing aemond having aegons knife.... girl open your eyes#a silent sister there in the side of the frame just in case akdhaksjsksjs#jace first man to experience mysoginy.... westeros is so progressive#daemon to be the one to end centuries of beef between two houses i cannot believe my eyes#or make it worse.... nevermind#rhaenyra needed a yapping partner mysaria is so needed actually akfhsksk#elisenda (if i remember right) getting sent for war akdjaksn#and who tf is she????#OH!!!!#asking your wife for money for your latest repair project akdhakskskdk#LARYS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!#alicent having to fight for her claim as REGENT against her own fuckass son CHRIST!!!!!#FUCKASS CRISTON!!!!!!#ALICENT THAT MAN IS ONLY EATING BREAD AND WATER FROM NOW ON#THE FUCKASS BALL!!!!!!!!#ALICENT KILL THEM ALL!!!!!!!#aemond is the next in line new criston phrase#i did not give you lease(?) to speak my name#BARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAGGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they want meat!!! hugh said the dragons are meat!!! are they going to eat vhagar???? lmaooooo#sick dungeon meshi reference#SLAY JACEEEE#alys queen.... humble daemon a bit more we nearly got him#HE SAID IT!!! RHAENYRA END THIS MANS RETREAT NOW!!! BAELA READ HIM!!!! YEAAAAHHH BAELAAAAAAA YEAAHHHHHHH AND RHAENA GETS DRIFTMARK#HELAENAAAA YEAAAH SHE KNOWS!!!! AGEON NOTICED HIS MOTHER OHHHHHHH YEAAAAH VERMITHOOOOR SILVER WING!!!! jace and rhaenyra scene god.... yes#talking tag#watching hotd#the jace and rhaenyra scene and that baela and corlys scene which btw gave me chills.... damn thats was so good
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i think tumblr glitched and showed me who sent an anon so that’s interesting…
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how long am i going to be pining over this girl bc like i have shit to do and i’m not asking her out
#we’ve gotten to the point of just being inconvenienced#like. okay she’s gorgeous and makes my stomach tingle and heart flutter and she’s kind and gentle and amazing.#that’s established. what’s next?#the same applies to this one guy but i see her more often#also i feel like i’m so obvious with both of them. i’m a fool. but guys are oblivious#(<- a generalisation based on the specific men i know)#and girls assume it’s just friendship from me (<- a generalisation based on the women i know)#also in a lot of the cases where i get down bad for women i know them and then i get hit with the ‘oh. *oh.*’#also. think i might be thinking about things i was not much thinking i could be before. huh.#like it could track but also i could be thinking this just in reference to societal norms when it’s not the actual thing#actually no nevermind i’m wrong it’s just most instances not all#but that did make me realise how i could be a better ally to certain communities. which is cool.
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I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.
A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.
The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.
The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.
A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.
A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.
Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.
Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.
Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".
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"if anything it was the opposite" "Eric wanted to be like Dylan more than Dylan wanted to be like Eric" followed by "it was a crime done by two guys, not a fucking supervillain and his little sidekick". Okay.
Reminder for Columbine Day
If you still believe the "Eric was a psychopath, Dylan was a depressed follow" rhetoric then you are retarded and should be sent to a reeducation camp. If anything it is the opposite. Dylan wanted to do NBK with a fucking chick before Eric was even in the picture. Eric wanted to be like Dylan more than Dylan wanted to be like Eric. Eric didn't have as many friends or a family to fall back on like Dylan did. Dylan, by bystander reports, enjoyed the shooting more than Eric did. Dylan was the one taunting more and was more visibly excited by it. Sure Eric killed more but Dylan had a shitty gun. It was a crime done by two guys, not a fucking supervillain and his little sidekick. Just a reminder.
#everytime someome tries to talk about how it wasn't caused by one of them#they just loop back around to blaming only one of them again lol#you're not making them look equal here at all#AND id also say we should be more critical about some of the information we have regarding them and their dynamic#point being bystander reports or friends who were closer to one than the other...#i don't think Devon was lying about dylan being annoyed by eric copying him but like#we don't actually have erics pov on that. we have devon talking about how dylan outwardly felt#which is different than what dylan inwardly felt and doesn't touch on eric at all#eric was also emulating things outside of dylan so#idk i veey much think that they are a case of folie a deux and like. maybe we could do better talking about that lmao#idk what im expecting from a timmver post though so yknow nevermind it's whatever#but this post completely shifts blame on Dylan. which I don't get why everyone feels the need to blame one of them#especially because we don't know how eric started thinking about it. there is an assumption by some that dylan brought it up to him#based on him being ''dylans third choice'' but we literally don't know how the actual hey let's kill people convos went down#it could have happened that way or they could have come up with the idea seperately and both had it before bringing it up#Eric also started journaling later lol#dylan killing less people because of his shitty gun... also could have multiple reasons behind it beyond that (not all of which are biased)#they both did some taunting... they both killed people... they both didn't kill people they could have ... they both had bombs...#they both planned it.#sigh
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when there's finally 1 singular astarion & jaheira fic but i don't like it
#it was written by the same person who made the gif i didnt want to say it in the previous post directly in case they search up their url#which would be bad obviously but also this post may show up in the tag somehow too well .whatever#its sooooooo frustrating like it's not technically bad but it doesn't precisely describe the exact same events#ive been imagining in my mind for the past 4 months so it's also literally torture#mp#edit nevermind i just read a bit more it's technically bad. they wouldn't say that shit
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You know what? Fuck it.
Mar 13 -> The amount of notes that this post gets by the end of April is the amount of words I'll write for one of my books.
Update: May 1 -> AND TIME!! Thank you all so much for participating! The amount of words I got, at the time of me looking at this post, are...
Holy shit that's a lot-
Update: May 2 -> Currently outlining a storyline! I couldn't decide which fandom I wanted to do so I'm just doing a self-indulgent crossover.
Update: May 12 -> Got an idea for an Optimus-centric story. I'm keeping my original storyline but I'm started to plan out this new one.
Update: Jun 1 -> Nevermind. Currently rewriting a story of mine. I think that'll be the chosen one. Though, I have seven planned chapters so I dunno how the hell I'm gonna do it.
Update: Jun 28 -> Nevermind x2 lol. I'm continuing on with the Optimus-centric story. It was inspired by Not A Prime Situation and it's a really good book, I highly recommend it. I asked permission from the author to start writing and I got it so chapter 1 is in the works! (P.S. I'm gonna wait until after all 21 chapters are finished to start posting just in case I lose motivation halfway and stop writing for 2 years again.)
Update: Nov 6 -> Sorry y'all, suffered through multiple depressive episodes and a massive writer's block. I'll try my best to write this though.
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what happens is:
-fatphobic limits on weight for trans surgeries are implemented due to fatphobic doctors and a medical establishment that refuses to train physicians to work with fat bodies
-hospitals and clinics and those that work there reproduce these limits as factual and create the conditions for disordered eating and related self-harm among trans people, and uphold systems of antifatness, cisheteropatriarchy, white supremacy, and abled-normativity that render the only 'correctly' binarily sexgendered people as thin
-trans people with disordered eating practices are doubly pathologized and marked as contagion vectors, hysterical, deviant, and delusional, in need only of "recovery" via force-feeding to be cured both of disordered eating and transness
-trans people are thus pushed further from access to life-saving medical care and, in the best cases, instead funneled into an ed industrial complex that routinely abuses even its most privileged subjects, nevermind those already abjected
-trans people either remain in diagnosis-induced epistemic limbo, die of their eds, die by suicide, and/or remain "too fat" to access surgery, knowing that the next time they go back seeking xyz transmedical intervention, they will get the same recommendation to "diet" –– which, make no mistake, is in effect a recommendation to die.
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